CUSTOMER SERVICE

WE ARE NOT SHIPPING OUTSIDE THE US AT THIS TIME.

We're sorry but we've had so many returned and lost orders foreign that we've had to stop shipping outside the US until we can find a shipping company that will actually get the shirts to our customers. Every service we've tried so far has lost more than it's gotten there. And we can't reprint orders three or four times and reship them when the customer's just paid for them once until they finally get there if they ever do. We're sorry but we've got no choice. Check back with us. We are going to try again with another company as soon as we can get it set up.

Thanks for shopping at sickidiots.com!

Ordering FAQs --

Do you accept checks or Money Orders?

We will take mailed Money Orders ... preferably US Postal Service Money Orders. For foreign orders, please get an International Money Order in US Dollars. Please make the Money Orders out to: sickidiots.com, Inc. and put your order number on the notes line, if there is one.

You can pay us by check if you use PayPal as they do eChecks.

How long will it take to get my order?

Under normal circumstances they go out within 5 business days. If the shirt you order is in being reprinted, it's about 10 until we ship. We use Fed Ex Ground because they don't normally lose packages. Please give us a street address for delivery not a P.O. Box. Fed Ex can normally deliver to military APO/FPO addresses, as well as any address with a valid United States zip code. It's about 5 days to get to you depending on your location. The Fed Ex Ground system will send you an email with your tracking number in it once they have scanned your package into their computer.

Please allow emails to be received from Fed Ex and also from Skully at sickidiots so that you can get any notices from us if there's a problem with your order. Thanks!

What is your Return and Exchange policy?

The Straight and Boring Version

Our policy is simple -- 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed. If your shirt doesn't fit or whatever it is ... return it UNWORN within 30 days and we will refund or exchange it for you. Please contact us to arrange for a return or exchange so we will know your shirt is coming back. Exchanges for a different style, size or color not due to a manufacturing defect or an order processing error will incur normal shipping charges when the product is reshipped to you. If you’re requesting a refund not due to a manufacturing defect or order processing error, we will gladly refund you the cost of the merchandise only. Unfortunately, we cannot refund you the cost of the shipping unless there is manufacturing defect or there was a mistake made in processing your order.

The sickidiots' Version

What? You wanna return your sick Tshirt? Are you nuts? If the answer is yes, here are your RETURN INSTRUCTIONS.

Our policy is simple -- 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed. Returns or exchanges can only be made within 30 days of the order date and will only be accepted as long as your shirt is unworn, unwashed, and unhappy. Well, you're returning it, aren't you? You can't expect your shirt to be happy. You're rejecting it. It knows you don't love it anymore. It's a very depressed Tshirt. To get it out of your life follow the instructions below:

1. Stick the unworn shirt in an envelope or a box.
2. Insure your package to ship it to us.
3. You MUST contact us first otherwise we won't know why you're sending it to us or what you want us to do about it.
4. What do you want? Blood? Nevermind.

You can request any of the following to be done with your rejected shirt:
1. You can scream, "Gimme a different shirt. I want the saying _______________________."
2. You can demand, "Gimme a size _________."
3. You can say, "Send me a sickGift Certificate instead."
4. You can yell, "Gimme back my money." (Refunds are made to the original method of payment only.)

Care and Feeding of sick Tshirts

For a "distressed" look -- Drink a twelve pack with Jack Daniels chasers. Puke all over yourself and the shirt. Fall down the stairs onto the muddy lawn. Roll around. Stagger back into the crib and drink some more.

WARNING: DO NOT DRIVE.

That will distress the car instead of the sick Tshirt. If you want your shirt to look newer longer, wash it inside out to protect the screen printing and the puke. Your satisfaction's guaranteed!

How to use the shopping cart --

The Straight and Boring Version

1. Click the thumbnail of the shirt you would like to purchase.

2. Customize your shirt by choosing a style, color and size you like. Once complete, an "ADD TO CART" button will appear. Click it to go to the cart.

3. On the next page -- which is the front page of the shopping cart -- you will see the item you have chosen. Click "CONTINUE SHOPPING" if you would like to add more shirts to your order. Once you have all the shirts you want in your cart, click the button that says "CHECKOUT".

Also on this page is a radio button where you can click to print the order form and mail it in to us with your money order.

Prices are in U.S. dollars. Please consult your local bank if you need currency conversion details for countries other than the U.S.

When you are done, click CONTINUE to go to the next page.

4. You will then enter your billing address and shipping details. The fields with * are required. You do not need to enter a region if you are in the U.S. (make sure to enter a valid e-mail address in order to receive a confirmation of your order). You also do not need to reenter the same address if billing and shipping are the same -- there is a box to check under the billing address column. Click the"next" button once you've completed the form.

5. Here you will get one of two pages:

a) If you are printing your order, you will get an order form page. Please print it out and mail it to us along with your money order to:

sickidiots.com, Inc.
Distribution/Returns Center
5190 Neil Road Suite 430
Reno, NV 89502

b) If you are using a credit card to pay, then here you will enter your credit card information and the EXACT BILLING ADDRESS that your credit card company has listed for your account. Once you've completed entering your credit card details, click the red "submit order" button in order to place your order and charge your card. That's it!

The sickidiots' Version

Okay sickidiots. You're walking down the market isle. Grab some DingDongs. Toss 'em in your shopping cart and "Continue Shopping." Down another isle (or click to another saying's page) you find the Coors. Four six-packs go into the Shopping Cart. You click "Continue Shopping" again and ....

If you want to know how much stuff's in your shopping cart, instead of staring down at it, you click the link in the upper right of each page where it says, duh, "View Cart." Well, this ain't rocket science ... you're just buying t-shirts, right? Your online Shopping Cart's where all of the items you want are stored until you go to the "Check Out" stand and buy them. In your Shopping Cart, you can remove items you no longer want to purchase (only if you've found a saying you like better!), change the quantity of the items to be purchased (BUY MORE, BUY MORE, BUY MORE), or empty the entire contents of the shopping cart (don't you dare or we'll hunt you down and tickle you to death.)

Once you're ready to purchase your products, click on "Check Out." That takes you to the secure pages -- see the little padlock in your "Start" bar? That means you're on a secure server. You can also always tell if you're on a secure page by looking in your Internet Browser's address bar. If the address of the page you are at begins with https:// (note the s ... for secure) then you're safe!

So ... you're safe. You've rolled that condom on and you're ... ah, wrong story. Sorry! What you're really doing is buying wonderfully sick sickidiots shirts. First we need your billing/shipping address -- exactly as it appears on your statement or the computer's likely to reject you. This is all automated by our bank so we don't control it. The next page calculates your shipping charges based on your address. You can stop ordering at any time along here but please don't. Think how rejected your poor shirts will feel if you drop them at the alter like that.

Remember that once you select "Check Out" your personal information is totally safe as it passes through our secure Web Server for processing. We use Card Services International, one of the world's biggest and safest credit card processing services. We are sickidiots but hey, we value our security and privacy too! We're for sure gonna protect other sickidiots.

After you purchase your sick T-shirts you can go back and shop more, or you can grab another beer and crank up the music until your neighbor's ears bleed.

Contact Information

Snail mail for our corporate offices:

sickidiots.com, Inc.
5190 Neil Road
Suite 430
Reno, Nevada 89502



Online Contact:

We have, unfortunately, been spammed to death by having our direct email up here so we are now using the Shop Sub Rosa Tshirt HelpDesk for all inquiries -- customers as well as wholesale.

Please click this Tshirt HelpDesk link and reply through that system. There is also a Knowledgebase there with answers to your most common questions about us and our Tshirts.

If you are a customer with a question about your order, you may also call us toll free using the 877 number at the top of your receipt. For spam reasons, we are not listing the phone number here either. Sorry!

Thanks for understanding!