sickidiots.com has two Privacy Policies —

Our sick Privacy Policy is short and not sweet. Below that is our Legaleze Privacy Policy which supercedes the sick Privacy Policy and has all the legal details in it. Read whichever one you want — or read both of them!

sickidiots.com’s sick Privacy Policy

sickidiot's privacy policy is simple. we do not sell or rent your personal information to anyone, anywhere, at any time, for any reason. period. (no, not that kind of period!)

all sickidiots are our friends and we do NOT condone spam in any form. we hate getting stuff we don’t want in our email box too.

the sickidiots who work for us may use e-mail addresses or other personally identifiable information — like your name, duh! — to contact you if you directly communicate with us, if you win a sickidiots' contest, if you have signed up with sickidiots to receive information from us — called an "opt-in" mailing — and if you buy from us you will be added to our New Tshirt Alert emailing list.

if you don’t want to hear from us we will remove you from the list of sickidiots — or you can remove yourself with one click within our New Tshirt Alert — and we’ll go quietly into the night sobbing.

some pages on our site(s) use “cookies” (and not my grandma’s Toll House chocolate chip ones either . . . the computer kind), track IP addresses and other non-personal computer techie-type info, and records it. we don’t understand any of this stuff either — heck, we’re T-shirt designers! — but we’ve been told we have to collect this info since we have sickNews and you can all post there. it’s not used for anything. it’s just stored in case you write something that’s gonna get us sued and we might need to cover our own asses . . . but you’re a good sickidiot, right? you wouldn’t do anything like that! you’ve read our Code of Conduct and you know what’s legally cool to post and what sucks, don’t you? then you don’t have to worry about this. we aren’t gonna use the info to sell you more garbage you don’t want or need.

as a member of our highly functioning, dysfunctional clan — sickidiots unite! — we want you to be as happy as we are, ah, well, we want you to be less depressed than we are. so wear your sickidiot gear with pride, and watch for other sickidiots on the loose. tell your family, friends and enemies about sickidiots. let’s take over the world . . . we can’t do a worse job of running it, can we?

LEGAL BS – sickidiots is required by law to release information on users if compelled to do so by proper judicial or governmental authorities. but screw them. disclosure shall be limited only to those agencies that sickidiots is legally required to disclose information to and to no one else. i mean, you’re only buying a T-shirt already. what do they want? blood?

if you really want more info, you can read our super-duper, seriously overkilled version of this Privacy Policy called our Legaleze Privacy Policy which is below and you should read our TERMS OF USE.

sickidiots.com's Legaleze Privacy Policy

Welcome to sickidiots.com, Inc.'s super-duper, seriously overkilled legaleze version of its Privacy Policy which covers all web sites owned, operated, and/or maintained by sickidiots.com, Inc., and/or its parent, subsidiary and affiliated companies as well as their respective employees, agents and assignees, as applicable, ("sickidiots.com").

WE RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY. We do not sell or rent your personal information to anyone, anywhere, at any time, for any reason. Period.

We are posting this page to let you know in detail how the information we collect is processed and used. So to start with, there are two basic forms of online information collection that all sites use — computer tracking logs and your personal information. We’ll start with your personal information.

If you have Registered to become an “Official sickidiot” you can review and edit the personal information and contact preferences you provided at sickidiots.com by selecting “My Account” in the right sidebar near the top after you login.

If you are not Registered, then the only personal information that we have about you is what you have chosen to give us in the following ways:

1. If you sign up for our NEW SHIRT ALERTS, if you buy from us, or enter any of our contests, we require some of your personal information including your email address. We only use your email address to send you our NEW SHIRT ALERTS, to contact you about your order or if you win a contest and for no other reason. We do not sell or rent your email address to anyone else. We do not purchase outside lists to build our subscriber databases. If you decide you no longer want to receive our NEW SHIRT ALERTS, there is an un-subscribe link at the bottom of each email. Our ALERTS are sent through Constant Contact and they have a very efficient and totally secure system.

2. If you use our “TELL YOUR FRIENDS" form we ask for your name (so your friends know who sent them the info) and your email address so that the system can send the email from you, and the email addresses of those you want to tell about sickidiots.com. We don’t use this info for anything except to send the email that you have requested. We don’t even keep the info in our files. The emails are sent by the automated system, and that’s it.

3. Our polls do not require any personal information from you . . . we only want your opinion!

4. If you buy T-shirts or other sickidiots.com products then you have to give up more information . . . how can we sell you stuff if we don’t know where to sent it?

5. We ask for more information when you “Register” to post on our “sickidiots rant” site. Our TERMS OF USE require that all the details you provide will be correct, current, and complete. Sickidiots.com's Registration form requires you to give us YOUR REAL e-mail address. You can unregister at any time. Personal data is never shared with an outside party, and the subscriber database is never used for purposes other than allowing you to rant to your heart’s content. If we sickidiots or our legal advisors believe the details are not correct, current, or complete, we have the right to refuse you access to the Site(s), or any of its resources, and to terminate or suspend your account. You don’t have to sign up to rant but if you do, we need to cover our legal rear ends if you post something that gets us into trouble.

For that reason — and also, for example, to track how many people (we don’t know who, just how many) go to see a particular product or page so we know what T-shirt sayings you want to see and can write more of them — we also collect non-personal information (computer logs) in two ways.

1. We use a program called PostNuke to run the “sickidiots Site(s). If you visit sickidiots.com you should know the tracking capabilities of PostNuke — it gathers anonymous information about your visit, such as page counts along with your browser type (eg; are you using Internet Explorer or Netscape or another browser and if so, it usually collects what version of the browser you use), and referrer data (eg; the name of the site at which you clicked a link to get to sickidiots.com). Every computer connected to the Internet is given a domain name and a set of numbers, that serve as that computer's “Internet Protocol” or “IP” address. When a visitor requests a page from any web site, PostNuke automatically recognizes that visitor's domain name and IP address. The domain name and IP address reveal nothing personal about you other than the IP address from which you have accessed our site. We use this information to examine our traffic in aggregate, and to investigate misuse of the sickidiots.com Site(s), Users, or to cooperate with proper judicial or governmental authorities or law enforcement, only if required. PostNuke does not record e-mail addresses of visitors.

PostNuke does use cookies. What are cookies? A cookie is a small piece of data that is sent to your Internet browser from a web server and stored on your computer's hard drive. A cookie can't read data off of your computer hard disk or read cookie files created by other web sites. Cookies do not damage your system. Cookies cannot be used to run programs or deliver viruses to your computer. Cookies are uniquely assigned to you, and can only be read by a web server in the domain that issued the cookie to you. We use cookies to identify which areas of sickidiots.com you have visited and to identify you if you Register and wish to automatically login. You can choose whether to accept cookies by changing the settings of your Internet browser. You can reset your browser to refuse all cookies, or allow your browser to show you when a cookie is being sent. If you choose not to accept these cookies, your experience at sickidiots.com and other web sites may be diminished and some features may not work as intended. Sickidiots.com doesn’t use single-pixel gif images, sometimes referred to as web bugs or web beacons, to count Web page accesses and gather general statistical information nor do we install spyware — we think that sucks. If we make good T-shirts, you will come. If we don’t, we deserve to go out of business.

The purpose of cookies is primarily to set session data and make sure that only registered, logged-in users can take actions that would result in a substantial change in the content of the site (such as posting rants). PostNuke records specific actions taken on the site along with the IP Address and the username of the member who takes such action — like posting (new rants), commenting, adding a link, reporting a broken link, or basically anything that could potentially change the content of the site itself. This feature is there to protect sickidiots.com from any “inappropriate or legally contentious” content that might slip through the moderation process. The only people who have access to this information are us sickidiots (and we have no idea what any of it means!), our webmasters, and the web hosting company at which sickidiots.com is located. Sickidiots.com may be forced to disclose personal information if required to do so by law or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to (a) conform to the edicts of the law or comply with legal process served on sickidiots.com or the Site; (b) protect and defend the rights or property of sickidiots.com and our family of Web sites; or (c) act in urgent circumstances to protect the personal safety of sickidiots.com employees or agents, users of sickidiots.com products or services, or members of the general public.

2. We also use a tracking service called CounterCentral which collects essentially the same anonymous information that PostNuke does . . . but they can’t connect it with your name or other personally identifiable information that you put in at our site when you register to post — only we can do that, and we only do it if required to by a law inforcement agency or looming lawsuit. We love all sickidiots but we really aren’t interested in exactly who you are unless you get us sued.

The CounterCentral info is used for marketing so that we can see if someone (but not who) looked closer at which product, went to what pages or to what categories (eg; was that visitor more interested in T-shirts that are Rude & Offensive or in Sexual & Fuck), what keywords are used to find us, which search engines sent us traffic (both so we know what advertising is working and what isn’t), how many visitors came back to the site (the number of repeat visitors but not who they are), how people navigate the site, how long they stay, what days get the most visitors, and stuff like that. This information is only used to help improve sickidiots.com, to analyze trends, and to create better product for you — and none of it tells us who you are. You can see in detail what info is available to us from this tracking service at http://www.countercentral.com/. Personal information collected at sickidiots.com is stored and processed in the United States of America.

GENERIC WARNING: sickidiots.com’s Site(s) contain hyperlinks to third party web sites and blogs. We are not responsible for the privacy practices or the content of such third party web sites or blogs, or by their advertisers. We do not share any of the individual personal information you provide us with the third parties to which we link, except that we may share general, aggregate data with such third parties (such as how many people use our site), to entice them to link to us. Please check with those web sites to determine their privacy policy.

Please keep in mind that whenever you voluntarily disclose personal information online — for example through e-mail, discussion lists, our rants, or elsewhere — that information can be collected and used by others. In short, if you post personal information online that is accessible to the public, you may receive unsolicited messages from other parties in return none of which has anything to do with sickidiots.com. Ultimately, you are solely responsible for maintaining the secrecy of your personal information. Please be careful and responsible whenever you're online. We caution you against giving out personal information to strangers online, which they may use for illegal or harmful purposes.

PRIVACY POLICY UPDATES

We may occasionally update this Privacy Policy. We encourage you to periodically review this Privacy Policy to stay informed about how we are helping to protect the personal information we collect. Your continued use of the service constitutes your agreement to this Privacy Policy and to any updates. We use reasonable precautions to keep the information disclosed to us secure. We reserve the right to transfer all such information in connection with the sale of all or part of sickidiots.com should such a sale or transfer occur. We are not responsible for any breach of security or for any actions of any third parties that receive the information. We are not responsible for such third party privacy policies or how they treat information about their users.

If you want more gory legal details, you can read our TERMS OF USE.

If you have any concerns or questions, please feel free to CONTACT US.

TM & © 2000 – 2008 sickidiots.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Use of this Site(s) constitutes your acceptance of our Privacy Policy and TERMS OF USE.