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I really love children but I couldn't eat a whole one.
I really love children but I couldn't eat a whole one.
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No matter who you vote for a politician always wins!
No matter who you vote for a politician always wins!
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Invest in the US. Buy a politician!
Invest in the US. Buy a politician!
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Make me employee of the month or I'll come to work with my .357.
Make me employee of the month or I'll come to work with my .357.
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i'm the quiet neighbor with a big freezer
i'm the quiet neighbor with a big freezer
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Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.
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Giving someone the finger is not part of lending a helping hand.
Giving someone the finger is not part of lending a helping hand.
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Don't worry about what people think. Most of them don't.
Don't worry about what people think. Most of them don't.
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Does the Internet still work when I turn my computer off?
Does the Internet still work when I turn my computer off?
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I can't afford health insurance. I have to pay for my pills.
I can't afford health insurance. I have to pay for my pills.
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stone cold crazy
stone cold crazy
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don't make me bite you
don't make me bite you
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It's not if the glass is half empty or half full ... it's who's pouring the beer.
It's not if the glass is half empty or half full ... it's who's pouring the beer.
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blogs are internet diarrhea
blogs are internet diarrhea
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I had a 10 minute lunch hour today.
I had a 10 minute lunch hour today.
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common sense ain't so common
common sense ain't so common
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Let's share. I'll keep the pin, you take the grenade.
Let's share. I'll keep the pin, you take the grenade.
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deals well with chaos
deals well with chaos
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Teachers are weapons of mass instruction.
Teachers are weapons of mass instruction.
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Equal Opportunity Offender
Equal Opportunity Offender
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dying since birth
dying since birth
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Don't hate the rich.  Did anyone poor ever hire you?
Don't hate the rich. Did anyone poor ever hire you?
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oh no. not you again
oh no. not you again
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Overworked and Underlaid
Overworked and Underlaid
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You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?
You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?
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Reality is just a vicious rumor.
Reality is just a vicious rumor.
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The Pledge of Allegiance
The Pledge of Allegiance
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FEMA -- Federal Emergency Mis-Management Assholes
FEMA -- Federal Emergency Mis-Management Assholes
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Divided we stand ... but don't fuck with us, we're still standing!
Divided we stand ... but don't fuck with us, we're still standing!
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Too Pretty For Prison
Too Pretty For Prison
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trust me
trust me
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aren't you glad i'm not your child?
aren't you glad i'm not your child?
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YOU CALL ME A COCKSUCKER LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.
YOU CALL ME A COCKSUCKER LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.
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avoid MAD COW disease ... eat a human today
avoid MAD COW disease ... eat a human today
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DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP
DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP
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a sick mind is a very sad thing to waste
a sick mind is a very sad thing to waste
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blah blah blah
blah blah blah
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Free to a good home.
Free to a good home.
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it's all my fault
it's all my fault
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EXERCISE. EAT RIGHT. DIE ANYWAY.
EXERCISE. EAT RIGHT. DIE ANYWAY.
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fecal matter happens
fecal matter happens
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FORNICATE YOU
FORNICATE YOU
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Gun control = hitting your target!
Gun control = hitting your target!
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I don't know what you think of me but I hope it's x-rated!
I don't know what you think of me but I hope it's x-rated!
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I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't matter anyway.
I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't matter anyway.
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I fuck therefore I'm single.
I fuck therefore I'm single.
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I need a VACATION
I need a VACATION
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I'm a little bit crazy.
I'm a little bit crazy.
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I'm here 'cause I'm not all there.
I'm here 'cause I'm not all there.
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If you're reading this shirt, you need to get a life.
If you're reading this shirt, you need to get a life.
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Life sucks ... but what if death isn't any better?
Life sucks ... but what if death isn't any better?
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life sucks, have another beer
life sucks, have another beer
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Life sucks. And then you die.
Life sucks. And then you die.
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shallow people don't drown
shallow people don't drown
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talentless but connected
talentless but connected
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THE EMPLOYEE FROM HELL
THE EMPLOYEE FROM HELL
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What Am I Doing Here?
What Am I Doing Here?
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when it's hard, it's hard to say no.
when it's hard, it's hard to say no.
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Why meditate when there's Merlot?
Why meditate when there's Merlot?
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you never met a motherfucker quite like me
you never met a motherfucker quite like me
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I'M GOING TO HELL WHEN I DIE!
I'M GOING TO HELL WHEN I DIE!
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Oh hell. I'm too drunk to drink.
Oh hell. I'm too drunk to drink.
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When I said 'til death do us part I thought I had six months to live.
When I said 'til death do us part I thought I had six months to live.
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Viagra is for pussies.
Viagra is for pussies.
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Don't go anywhere. Don't see anyone. Don't give a shit.
Don't go anywhere. Don't see anyone. Don't give a shit.
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Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
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i am disturbed
i am disturbed
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Life is a carnival and you're part of the freak show.
Life is a carnival and you're part of the freak show.
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MEN ARE FABULOUS. EVERYONE SHOULD OWN A FEW.
MEN ARE FABULOUS. EVERYONE SHOULD OWN A FEW.
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TOO FUNK TO DRUNK
TOO FUNK TO DRUNK
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FEMA -- Hurricane Katrina 2005
FEMA -- Hurricane Katrina 2005
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GROUNDED FOR LIFE
GROUNDED FOR LIFE
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